Something Quiet
by Rosalie Moffett
My mother鈥檚 dog is buried under a railroad tie
聽 聽 聽 聽in the garden
because if there鈥檚 not something heavy
聽 聽 聽 聽there, something quiet
will come and dig it up. My dog was cremated
聽 聽 聽 聽because I wanted to bury him
but where in my rented city yard
聽 聽 聽 聽could I? I hope you know
I鈥檓 donating my body to science. I鈥檓 about as far
聽 聽 聽 聽as I can go and be
in the same country as my mother,
聽 聽 聽 聽who is almost at the end
of the winding highway connecting the town
聽 聽 聽 聽to nowhere:
a hollowed canyon and its black cows, its river
聽 聽 聽 聽enameled with whatever
light the time of day is making. As soon as I held
聽 聽 聽 聽the dog鈥檚 expensive ashes,
I knew it was an absurd question,
聽 聽 聽 聽where he鈥檇 want to be
scattered鈥攃ouldn鈥檛 walk myself
聽 聽 聽 聽through his dog-logic,
his trying to grasp what it mattered what I did
聽 聽 聽 聽with his body when he was
no longer in it. Who knows what, then,
聽 聽 聽 聽they鈥檒l learn about me,
what a specimen I鈥檒l be. The country is vast.
聽 聽 聽 聽I left home, drove away
towing a U-Haul. The world is full
聽 聽 聽 聽of beauty, is enormous.
It doesn鈥檛 make a bit of difference
聽 聽 聽 聽where I put any
of the ones I鈥檝e loved.
In my family, when one of us reached the lonely and miserable patch of adolescence, we were prescribed a dog. I got a border collie. Initially, the dog was there for me when I was being intolerable, when the world was being intolerable, but, among other things, the dog served as training wheels for loving and prioritizing something other than myself. And then, later, I had to learn how to care for him as he grew old and infirm, had to learn to cope with his loss. Part of my grief in his last year was knowing that this was also a kind of training wheels. 鈥淪omething Quiet鈥� came out of grappling with that lesson.
is the author of Nervous System, winner of the National聽Poetry Series, chosen by Monica Youn, forthcoming from Ecco press. She is also聽the author of June in Eden, winner of the Ohio State University Press/The Journal聽prize. She has been awarded the 鈥淒iscovery鈥�/Boston Review prize, a Wallace聽Stegner fellowship in creative writing from Stanford University, and scholarships聽from the Tin House and Bread Loaf writing workshops. Moffett鈥檚 poems and聽essays have appeared in Tin House, The Believer, FIELD, Narrative, The Kenyon聽Review, AGNI, Ploughshares, and other magazines, as well as in the anthology聽Gathered: Contemporary Quaker Poets.